As I get older, I seem to find my Christmas breaks getting less and less fun. Have you ever had a Christmas break that was so great that you never want it to end, or each year you hope it gets better, and it does!? Well the past couple of years has been pretty good. I didn’t work, I worked out a lot, was able to hang out all the time, life was good. Years went on, I didn’t hang out as much, have free time, or even be able to work out. Then it came to this where I didn’t hang out all the time, didn’t work out all the time, wasn’t able to just kick back and relax. This Christmas break, I had the state of mind that I was going to work out, make a lot of money working at Saint Shawn’s Auto Detail and Lone star Steak House. But did it happen? No… I worked every once in a while at both jobs. Most of my money went for gas, food and energy drinks. The most out of the other two. To finish my break, my friend Matt came back from the Nave and we hung out when I wasn’t working and what we did wasn’t too fun, just got around. Then when he left my break was practically over when he left cause school was in two days.
So to end my winter break essay, I would like to say the most enjoyable thing I did was, hang out with Matt and relax those days I wasn’t working so much.
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You are really imporving, but we continue to work on word choice and sentence structure. I feel that this would have pastes as a rough draft, but it needed editing to help it be a polished piece.
ReplyDeleteAudience and Purpose: 3
Format: 3 No heading
Total: 40/50 80%
Jeff- I can relate to not having the greatest time over break, it seems like it goes too fast. I noticed that there was some spelling errors. So next time you should proof you work. You could improve your writing by having more word and sentence variety. I wonder if you could have just wrote about a certain time that you hung out with Matt instead of having such a broad topic.
ReplyDeleteI know what you are talking about when break is bored. I think you could probably add more to your essay. Plus it seems like you just have one long paragraph, nothing else like an intro or conclusion. Proof reading would also be a good idea. I would've liked to know what else you did over break.
ReplyDeleteJeff I seen that your blog was short so i would add a little more if i was you, but don't worry mine was the longest either. I see you don't like to wright because i see some similar things i do because i too do not like to wright. I also can relate to what your talking about,my break was so boring i just wanted school to start already. I would add that you could have been a little more specific on your topic.
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